Demystifying Marriage
As we begin this series concerning love, let me share a couple of broad statements: First, marriage is the safest relationship on earth when God’s laws for love are honored. Secondly, you have a 100% chance of success and happiness in marriage when you honor God’s laws of love! If half of the airplanes that were taking off from airports were crashing, it would be a sign of intelligence not to board one. With half of marriages failing, smart people are justified to ask, “Why would I want to do that?” That is a legitimate question. It is the question we seek to answer in this series of messages concerning God’s Four Laws of Love. Let’s demystify marriage!
Taking Care of Number One
God expects men to lead, and leadership is one of a woman’s most important needs in marriage. Wives want their husbands to be the loving initiator of the well-being of home and marriage while treating them as equals. Both spouses must reprioritize their lives to make the marriage first place. Marriage only works in “first place.” If it is second to anyone or anything else, it will not work. Allow your spouse to be honest, train your children to respect your marriage, and make time for each other.
Pursue with all Your Energy
From the very beginning God told us the truth about marriage. It is going to take a lot of work for marriage to be rewarding. Some people have the romantic misconception that, if they marry their perfect soulmate, they will not have to work at it. You fall in love because you work at the relationship. You fall in love because you serve each other. God created marriage to bless us and fulfill us. If you do not serve each other, it is not going to work.
Serve Each Other
The two MAJOR reasons we must serve each other are: 1, We can’t meet our own needs 2. We are sworn to fidelity. This means (and let me use an analogy of a store) if my needs are not being met by my mate, I can’t shop at other stores. If your shelves are empty, I can’t shop at another store – (at least not legally.) Therefore, I am at your mercy. We are at each other’s mercy.
We Are in This Together
Marriage is not about coexisting in the same house. It’s not about sharing children and a bank account. It is about sharing your life. You get married because you want to share your life with someone you love. Many people in failing marriages describe their marriage as “growing apart.” In terms of marriage, that is an oxymoron. If it is growing, it is “growing together.” If it is growing apart, it is dying.
Four Decisions to Make Before You Marry
The most enjoyable life in the world is a life that is based upon the Word of God and not upon feelings. The greatest life in the world is a life based upon the Word of God and not upon feelings. What are the decisions my spouse and I must make before we marry?
My Way or Your Way
God created marriage to be the most intimate relationship on earth. There can only be intimacy when there is total exposure and unhindered access. The nakedness that Adam and Eve had was total. It was physical, of course, but it was also psychological, emotional, and spiritual. The best understanding for “Intimacy” is an expansion of the word to say, “In-to-me-see.” Any time you allow anyone to see into the real you; you are having an intimate moment.
Four Steps to Resolving Conflict in Marriage
You are going to need to deal with your anger in marriage. You may have to take a few hours to cool off but when you return to dealing with the issue you must confront it in a loving and positive manner. Communication experts tell us that a conversation never rises above the level of the first three minutes. What you do in the first three minutes of a conversation sets that conversation up for success or failure. This message is about the process of reconciliation with your spouse.